We all scream for "ice cream-like yogurt"

As you all can see we had a great time stuffing our faces at Orange Leaf. I think they should use these pics in their advertisements :) We appreciate our family, friends and my students for coming out and supporting us. We hope we can do this again before it gets too cold for frozen yogurt, if there is such a thing.

Our cousin Tara and our little comedienne cousin, Skyye.

Aunt Sandra, one of the best cooks this side of heaven.

Our cousin Kulani, our resident teenager who still hangs out with us, but she keeps her phone close by. At least we get to see her. lol!

Our little cousin Nyia. Probably her last photo before officially becoming a teenager.

My big "sis" Dorcas and Aunt Nell sharing a laugh.

The best students in the world!

Our cousin Rhonda who looks just like my mom :)

Yogurt for a cause!

Please join us tonight at Orange Leaf Yogurt on Clayton Rd at 6 pm. For every flier submitted with a purchase, Our hearts desire receives $1. Can't make it at that time? Well you can go any time today. Or any time on wednesday, Sept. 26.
See the flier under the "fundraisers" tab. If you have problems with that flier we can email you a copy directly just contact us at ourheartsdesire1@gmail.com.

Hope to see you there!

One Weak Apart

I'm finally home from a conference. I have been gone for nearly 7 days. I travel with some frequency for my job, but a week is a little long. It seemed even longer this time. I was very busy at this conference, so I was exhausted. I came to the conference exhausted because of all of the excitement over the past few weeks. Being away was good because it allowed me to focus on my career a little bit and it gave me a reprieve from thinking adoption 24-7. However, I was not prepared for how much I would miss my husband. We have grown much closer in this process and we're connecting and growing in our love for each other.

As a professional woman, sometimes society and my work environment make me feel that having a career is first and foremost. That to need and miss your husband means that you're not independent. Or better yet, that to alter your plans or to defer to your husband's plans or needs means that you're not as serious about your career. Women who value their family life and put it first may be made to feel that they're taking the women's movement back a few decades. I am not ashamed to say that I missed Ted terribly and that I value my marriage over my career trajectory. And when we have our child(ren), I know this will be more intense. I'm not living in a fantasy world here. I don't always put him before my career. And yes he gets on my nerves and sometimes I'm more than happy to take my trips. I also know that being a mother is often a thankless job. But at the end of the day, I love being Ted's wife and I want to be a mother. I know I want my career. I want to be at the top of the heap and I'm striving to do just that. However, I don't want to be there alone.

At the conference I just attended one of the fellow members of the organization brought her husband. She is quite accomplished. She has been married for 42 years (that's longer than I've been alive and she looks good). But I saw them together laughing and just enjoying each other. She found a way to work and to incorporate the most important relationship she has.

While I'm certainly a strong woman, Ted and I are at the point in our marriage where we are growing to be a part of each other. "And the two SHALL become one". Marriage is as much a process as adoption. But Ted gives me strength just as I for him. So I'm looking forward to returning home to the loving arms of my hubby. I gladly proclaim that I'm much stronger with him around.

And I thought this was just going to be an adoption blog :)

We are The Shaddings

We had our first home visit last week. It went very well, I think. Of course I was frantic while Ted behaved as if it was just a regular day. We rushed to get our house back in order from our family reunion and garage sale. I wanted everything to be perfect and everything in its place. Well, things weren't perfect in the house, and that was ok. Our adoption specialist asked some tough questions; some we expected and some we didn't. She did a walk through of our imperfect home. Even the washroom! The place my husband swears no one will ever see so why do I insist that he clean it. Question asked and answered.

Our specialist really made us feel at ease and comfortable. But before the interview I wondered if we should temper ourselves or just be who we are. I was really more concerned about my free flowing hubby :) But I worried if they would like just regular Ted and Cher? Not the folks on paper, but the flawed people at the house. Would they deem us as appropriate parents? So while we started the home visit with our "representatives" the "real" us quickly emerged. We are who we are. We love God, we love each other. We have good and bad days and we miss the mark. A lot! But we love our lives together. We love to laugh and to share our stories of the day with one another. We comfort each other in pain and sorrow. We share old fashioned values instilled by our wonderful parents. We love worshipping together and spending quality time with family and friends. We are not perfect but we have made ourselves available to this process and to God's leading us on this path.

So does our agency approve of us? We still don't know the answer to this question. Our worker laughed a lot and she sympathized when we shared our personal tragedies and struggles. We have some major hurdles yet to jump before we know this answer. What we do know is that the real Ted and Cher will continue to show up and share our genuine desire for parenthood.

What we also know is that we need to buy a fire extinguisher, carbon monoxide detectors and to put our household chemicals in a different place. The fun never ends :)

Baby, Set, Go?

The bible says the race is not given to the swift nor the strong but to the one who endures to the end (paraphrased). Well the race could be given to all of the above in our case. We were swift and strong and endured the process to finish our paperwork on Aug. 24. We were contacted to set up interviews the following week! I thought it would take a little longer for them to contact us. We will begin the interview process on this Monday, Sept. 10 and will finish by the end of the month on Sept. 28.

The kicker here is that our adoption specialist tells us that there are several African-American birthmothers who will give birth in the next few weeks. They essentially want us to get through the next few steps of the process quickly so they can present us to these mothers. WOW! If we have everything in place we could potentially be parents in October. OCTOBER! In the words of Tracy Jordan on my fav TV show 30 Rock, “I’m buggin out!”

Again we have been so focused on the process that we have not had time to calmly consider the parenting part. While the books we have read, suggest doing this during the waiting period. They never told us what to do if there is no real waiting period.

Our biggest hurdle is the finances. We desperately need to raise the placement costs of ~$14,300. We are leaving no stone unturned over the next few weeks. We ask for your prayers but we really ask for your support. We will be having a Benefit Garage sale this Saturday. Also we will have fundraisers at Orange leaf Clayton on each Monday in September (10th, 17th and 24th) and a bonus day on Sept. 26 (see Fundraisers for details).

We still have no guarantees that things will happen as fast as our worker is suggesting, but we must be prepared. We are so grateful for the hope that that has been instilled in us. We are also humbled. While Ted has experience with babies, I have none, at least not on my own. I have always had the actual parents around. As Butterfly McQueen said “ I don’t know nothin' bout' birthin' no babies” . Well in our case it’s really carin' for the baby. But I guess I better learn quickly. YouTube to the rescue :)