One Weak Apart

I'm finally home from a conference. I have been gone for nearly 7 days. I travel with some frequency for my job, but a week is a little long. It seemed even longer this time. I was very busy at this conference, so I was exhausted. I came to the conference exhausted because of all of the excitement over the past few weeks. Being away was good because it allowed me to focus on my career a little bit and it gave me a reprieve from thinking adoption 24-7. However, I was not prepared for how much I would miss my husband. We have grown much closer in this process and we're connecting and growing in our love for each other.

As a professional woman, sometimes society and my work environment make me feel that having a career is first and foremost. That to need and miss your husband means that you're not independent. Or better yet, that to alter your plans or to defer to your husband's plans or needs means that you're not as serious about your career. Women who value their family life and put it first may be made to feel that they're taking the women's movement back a few decades. I am not ashamed to say that I missed Ted terribly and that I value my marriage over my career trajectory. And when we have our child(ren), I know this will be more intense. I'm not living in a fantasy world here. I don't always put him before my career. And yes he gets on my nerves and sometimes I'm more than happy to take my trips. I also know that being a mother is often a thankless job. But at the end of the day, I love being Ted's wife and I want to be a mother. I know I want my career. I want to be at the top of the heap and I'm striving to do just that. However, I don't want to be there alone.

At the conference I just attended one of the fellow members of the organization brought her husband. She is quite accomplished. She has been married for 42 years (that's longer than I've been alive and she looks good). But I saw them together laughing and just enjoying each other. She found a way to work and to incorporate the most important relationship she has.

While I'm certainly a strong woman, Ted and I are at the point in our marriage where we are growing to be a part of each other. "And the two SHALL become one". Marriage is as much a process as adoption. But Ted gives me strength just as I for him. So I'm looking forward to returning home to the loving arms of my hubby. I gladly proclaim that I'm much stronger with him around.

And I thought this was just going to be an adoption blog :)