Bittersweet

On Wednesday of this week, I was with my husband as we attended the homegoing services of aunt Augusta, Ted’s aunt. She was a firecracker. Ted admired her greatly, as did I. She never made me feel like an in-law. She treated Ted more like a son and me like a daughter. So there was really no question as to whether or not we would attend her services, that was a given. No matter what we had to do. I was even more sad because I was concerned for my husband. Since she was the last of his mom’s siblings I was concerned that it would be like losing his mom all over again. He seems to be ok, but one can never tell with a man. But the services were beautiful and befitting and it was a homegoing indeed and that helped ease the pain. I couldn’t help but think of my own mom and her services, but seeing Aunt Augusta’s children and her husband of 68 years gave me strength.

I usually take my phone wherever I go, but I realized that I had left it in the car once we got into the church. Instead of going to the car to get it, I tried to forget about it and concentrate on why we were there and to make sure my husband was ok. Something kept nagging at me about my phone though and I kept thinking I was missing something very important.

After the service was over, we hugged a few people and approached our car to prepare for the procession to the cemetery. I got into the car and the first thing I did was grab my phone. I saw a missed call from Bethany and a text from our worker that said “Call me ASAP”. I think I began to shake a little bit, I yelled to Ted, “We got a call from Bethany!” He got all excited asking me, “What did they say, what is it?” I was trying to think. I told him to check the portal while I called them back. His niece was in the car with us so she witnessed this whole drama unfold.

I called Bethany back and asked for our worker, I’ll call her Lana. She answered the phone very sheepishly. We exchanged pleasantries. Then she asked “are you sitting down?” By this time she was getting on my nerves because I just wanted the message. Plus Ted was in the back seat asking me a thousand questions. So I responded, “Lana! Will you just tell me! I can’t stand this!” She says, “Well…you have been chosen by a birthmom”. What? I think I remained conscious but I can’t be certain. I was trying to be calm. I don’t really know what I said. And of course Ted was in the background. She proceeded to tell me that this birthmom loved our profile. She really connected with us and she wanted to give us a Christmas present by choosing us. We are scheduled to meet her on Dec. 21.

Although Ted figured some of it out, I got off the phone and told him the hold conversation. Tiffany, our niece was smiling from ear to ear by this time. Ted jumped out of the car. “Baby this is great!” He gave me a big kiss. He gave Tiffany a kiss. We were in shock and great awe. Of course we looked very odd celebrating in the parking lot right after a funeral.

There was so much going on at the moment it’s hard for me to capture it all. But I needed to call someone. I was both happy and sad because my instinct was to call my mom. I lost her over 2 years ago, but when I get news I still fight the urge to dial her number. So I had Tiffany, text Kiota because I had to start driving at that point. I said “Text her ‘We’ve been chosen’ and put lots of exclamation points”. Less than than a minute later, Kiota called me back. What a conversation! She had to whisper her excitement because she was at work. Lol!

Ted sent texts to people. I started sending texts once we finally made it to the cemetery. I wanted to tell the family after the repast. However, Ted couldn’t hold it in. Before we left the cemetery several people knew. He told his dad, his sister, cousins, including one of Aunt Augusta’s daughters, Esther who could barely contain her excitement and started to cry. OMG! I was a wreck. Ted said that he just had to tell people, he wanted to shout it to the world.

While we figured our chances were improving because of the latest birthmoms that were in the Bethany system. Ted has a different take on why we have been chosen. He thinks it’s Aunt Augusta. Aunt Augusta teamed up with my mama and said “Look Lord, give our babies a baby. They’ve been waiting long enough”. It’s comforting to think of them as our angels working on our behalf. But really this is a testament that God can turn mourning into joy, pain into happiness and more importantly that life does go on.

There is so much to talk about that I will have a part two to this post. But the baby is due Jan. 16 and…. It’s a boy!